Well, starting tomorrow morning, the real countdown to surgery begins. I'll be on a 1000 calorie per day diet for the two weeks prior to going in for the operation. (They want you to lose a good amount of weight before you go in for surgery so that your liver will shrink, making the operation easier and safer.)
My hubby and my mom are both going to try to do this with me...which I really appreciate. For them, I'm sure they have that feeling of anticipation and excitement that's always there when you start a new diet. You have a bubbling hope that maybe this is the one.
However, for me, it's not that way this time. Instead I know I'm counting down to the last "normal" days of my life. It's not like a diet that you could occasionally cheat with...this is permanent. I sort of feel like someone who is getting ready to have their stomach amputated. That good old friend of mine...gone for good.
So it is with some amount of melancholy that I saunter into the next day. Half of me wants to pig out on everything I'm never going to get to taste again...and the other half is just sort of sitting in a corner crying quietly to herself.
Anyway...that's where I am tonight.